


new light

by 93percent



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, Slice of Life, and fluffy, and he needs to be protected at all costs, and yes this is a pretty common trope for nielwoon, because i absolutely adore them, but I, but he has his reasons okay, heh, i am sucker for it, padding squad is in this, so will his best friends, sungwoon is kind of (maybe a little) emotionally constipated, this is going to be angsty, which daniel will do that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 06:00:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17319323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/93percent/pseuds/93percent
Summary: Getting through his final year of University is the least of Sungwoon's concern, when Daniel stumbles into his life and finds a spot in the tiny space left available in Sungwoon's hardened heart.





	new light

**Author's Note:**

> once again i am bad at summaries hahaha ha ha  
> nevertheless, hello, i'm back with a new nielwoon fic!  
> this is going to be a few chapters long and i can't promise that there will be fast updates because work and all (sigh).  
> but i hope you enjoy this! also apologies in advance, for any errors.

Sungwoon is starting to feel really self-conscious at the moment. He doesn’t actually see it because he doesn’t dare look up, but he just _knows_ that someone is currently staring at him. He licks his bottom lip, trying to focus on the essay he aims to complete, but everything is just a blur in front of him. Sighing, he contemplates asking in the group chat if anyone’s available at the moment but then stops himself. He remembers Moonkyu and Kwonho inviting him to go shopping together today which he politely declined the night before. Jongin and Taemin are assisting Jimin with his end of the year dance recital. Basically, there is no point in Sungwoon asking in the group chat.

 

Too caught up in his own thoughts, Sungwoon doesn’t hear the scraping sound of a chair being dragged opposite where he sits until, “Hi.” He snaps his head up to look at the owner of the deep voice. The guy in front of him has really broad shoulders, the sweater he is wearing look snug on him, and Sungwoon knows that he is tall even when he is sitting down. He has a wide smile on his face, bunny teeth peeking out and his eyes curve into crescents. As much as Sungwoon wants to deny it, there is certainly something charming about him and Sungwoon has yet to even speak a word to him.

 

The guy looks at him expectantly and that’s when Sungwoon remembers he has yet to reply him. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, Sungwoon mutters a shy ‘hey’ back. He thinks it’s impossible for the guy in front of him to smile any wider than he already is, but he did it upon hearing Sungwoon’s response. Sungwoon doesn’t want to admit and doesn’t want to understand it – _because what are these feelings_ – but his heart flutters at the smile. He looks away and focuses back on his essay, which Sungwoon knows is stupid because his mind is clearly somewhere else now. Like the guy who is still sitting in front of him, staring at him. 

 

To be honest, Sungwoon is never a big fan of speaking to strangers unless he _really_ needs to. And at the moment, he thinks that he _really_ needs to say something. It was starting to feel slightly awkward. He looks up before he backs out the last minute and asks, “Is there something I can help you with?”

 

“Hmm,” the guy begins, tapping a finger on his chin, a tiny smirk on his face. “Not really. Unless your definition of helping me is to give me your name and number.”

 

Sungwoon sputters because who just randomly says _that_ to a stranger. “I’m sorry, w-what?”

 

“It’s true,” the guy says so nonchalantly. “I think you’re really interesting and want to get to know you better.”

 

“But-“ but that’s complete and utter bullshit because how does this guy think Sungwoon is interesting when all he ever did the past two hours or so was focus on his essay. Plus, he still can’t believe that someone is so bold to just go up to him and say _that_ to him. Sungwoon honestly cannot relate.

 

“You know, you tend to pout your lips without you realizing. Even when you talk,” the guy speaks, disrupting Sungwoon’s thoughts. “You also like licking your bottom lip, _a lot_. It’s distracting.”

 

Sungwoon opens and closes his mouth, his mind whirling. He feels very overwhelmed and it has only been 10 minutes, Sungwoon thinks, since the guy sat opposite him. He’s mainly confused because no one has ever approached him so boldly. He’s shy because from the way the guy spoke, it meant that he has been observing Sungwoon for quite a while. Sungwoon is the type of person to just blend into the background, not wanting to attract attention on himself. He’s slightly annoyed too because _who_ is this guy, suddenly appearing out of nowhere, acting like he knows Sungwoon. All in all, Sungwoon is just feeling _too much_ at the moment.

 

Sungwoon won’t deny though, despite feeling all that, he is also intrigued. So he does what he’s best at,

 

“I’m Sungwoon.”

 

Getting himself involved in things he knows he should have avoided.

 

 

The guy raises his brows, clearly not expecting Sungwoon to tell him his name. Well, Sungwoon didn’t expect himself to do that too. Th guy’s expression as quickly as they come, changes to one of satisfaction. He whistles and Sungwoon can see students from the nearby tables, glare at them.

 

This is why Sungwoon knows he shouldn’t have said anything. Now, he’s just attracting attention. Or more like, the guy is. Sungwoon bets that he’s the type of guy that has people turning heads to look at him but doesn’t quite notice it.

 

“Wow, didn’t expect you to tell me your name that quick,” again, he says it so nonchalantly, laughing softly.

 

That somehow doesn’t sit well with Sungwoon so he shoots out, “What’s that supposed to mean? Is this some kind of game you play? To see how fast someone tells you their name and number?”

 

Sungwoon should shut up before he embarrasses himself. But something about the way the guy speaks so nonchalantly – like he doesn’t think the things he says can affect people, good or bad – muddles with Sungwoon’s mind. He has never once felt that way. To be able to speak up his mind so easily, not caring what others may think. In fact, Sungwoon’s the opposite. He thinks too much, his mind constantly on the go, but he barely speaks out about it.

 

It’s not like he doesn’t want to or has never tried. He has but Sungwoon always feels like he doesn’t know how to properly convey his true feelings. It always somehow comes out wrong and different from what he actually feels. Thus, in the end, he just keeps his thoughts to himself and would much rather not say anything, afraid of hurting anyone.

 

“Oh no,” the guy immediately says, a hint of panic in his eyes, “that was not what I meant at all. It’s just that you seemed so guarded just now, I honestly never expected you to tell me your name.”

 

When Sungwoon doesn’t respond, he asks, “Can I be honest with you?”

 

Sungwoon just stares at him, contemplating if he should just grab his belongings and walk away. Which Sungwoon could because he doesn’t know this guy and he can really just forget about everything and go on with his life like before. But he doesn’t and he’s not sure why, so he nods his head curtly.

 

“To be honest, I thought you would have up and leave by now as soon as I sat before you,” Sungwoon’s stomach churns at that because how does he know Sungwoon so well. That makes Sungwoon nervous. No one has been able to read him this well and this quick. Even his group of best friends took years to be able to fully read and understand him. “But, you truly surprised me.”

 

The guy chuckles lowly, Sungwoon guesses so as to not attract more attention on them, and brown orbs stare straight into Sungwoon’s eyes, “See, this is why you’re so interesting to me.”

 

Suddenly feeling shy, Sungwoon curls into himself, and mumbles, “I’m not that interesting.”

 

There is a look on the said guy’s face, one of slight dissatisfaction Sungwoon assumes, and a tiny frown on his face. However, it quickly disappears, and the guy simply says, “Well, you’re wrong then.”

 

The guy then proceeds to introduce himself, “I’m Daniel. A pretty common name, so you can just call me Niel.”

 

Unsure of what to say, Sungwoon taps his fingers on his thighs under the table and breathes out a, “Nice to meet you.”

 

“So which year are you from?” Daniel asks, running his fingers through his soft hair for a bit.

 

“I’m in my final year, majoring in English Literature,” Sungwoon replies and Daniel nods at that. Sungwoon thinks he should ask back if he doesn’t want the conversation to die down so quickly. Though, Sungwoon doubts anything like that will happen because he is certain Daniel will somehow find a way to keep the conversation going. “What about you?”

 

“Well, I am in the year below you, majoring in Business Management,” Daniel responds excitedly, as if happy that Sungwoon is actually asking him back. At Daniel’s answer, Sungwoon begins to think that Daniel is probably one of those people who is still unsure of what he wants in life, so he majors in the predictable. But then Daniel goes and say, “And before you wonder, I love my major because that has always been what I want to do in life. To start my own business.”

 

 _Right, of course there are people who are actually interested in majoring Business_ , Sungwoon chastises himself because there he goes being judgmental and once again, Daniel somehow manages to read right through him.

 

“That’s,” Sungwoon starts, trying to find the right word to use but all he ends up with is a, “nice.”

 

An amused smile appears on Daniel’s face and Sungwoon clears his throat before asking, “What business would you like to start?”

 

Daniel’s eyes light up at that and then he proceeds to tell Sungwoon of all the ideas he has in mind. It actually puts a smile on Sungwoon’s face, at least a tiny one, because somehow seeing Daniel so passionate about something makes his heart tingle a little in ways he cannot explain.

 

Evening soon comes and they finally part ways. As Sungwoon walks back to his shared apartment, Sungwoon realizes that he has learnt a lot of things about Daniel and that includes –

1) Daniel is really just a giant puppy who gets excited easily.

2) Daniel loves animals a lot and wants to open up his own petstore.

3) Sungwoon hates admitting it but he actually enjoys the company of Daniel (which is an achievement because Sungwoon hates interacting with new people).

4) Daniel now has his number.

                                                                                        

 

 

 

 

 ***

 

 

 

“You’re home early,” Taemin comments as soon as Sungwoon turns around from locking their front door. “I assume you finished your essay?”

 

Taemin is setting the table and he can hear Jongin in the kitchen – _“fuck, that’s hot!”_ – preparing dinner. Seeing only three plates on the dining table, Sungwoon thinks it’s just going to be the three of them today. Moonkyu’s probably still out and will eat dinner with Kwonho, Kwonho doesn’t live with them and Jimin is most likely spending time with his boyfriend after a long day of dance practice.

 

At Taemin’s question, Sungwoon winces because he most definitely did not complete his essay. He mumbles out a, “Not really.”

 

He hears Jongin snort from behind him, walking towards the dining table with a bowl of hot soup in his hands. He gently places it down in the middle of the table while Taemin places the remaining pair of chopsticks by one of the plates neatly.

 

“So, what did you actually do in the library?” Jongin asks, already sitting down at the dining table waiting to start dinner.

 

Pointing a thumb towards his shared bedroom with Moonkyu, Sungwoon says, “Let me just put my things in my room and change out of my jeans then we can start dinner, okay?”

 

Jongin gives him the thumbs up and Sungwoon scurries to his room. He hastily changes into more comfortable pants and takes a deep breath, preparing himself for the onslaught of questions that his friends are highly likely going to bombard him with as soon as he tells them why exactly he has yet to complete his essay.

 

When Sungwoon finally leaves his bedroom and heads to the dining table, Taemin and Jongin are whispering amongst themselves, seemingly to be in a heated discussion. However, as soon as they see Sungwoon, they immediately put on a wide smile. Sungwoon squint his eyes at that but brushes it off.

 

“You’ve yet to answer my question,” Jongin says after a few minutes of everyone savouring their dinner, pointing his chopsticks at Sungwoon.

 

Sungwoon internally curses Jongin for having such good memory because he was hoping they would all forget about it and talk about something else.

 

“Right,” Sungwoon begins, sipping on his glass of water before continuing, “Some dude approached me and I kind of got distracted.”

 

“Oh,” Taemin lets out, genuinely surprised and Sungwoon sees the way Jongin perks up too at what Sungwoon said.

 

A smirk slowly appears on Taemin’s face and Sungwoon sighs internally because _there it is, the questions that are going to start coming_.

 

“Aw, is my baby finally going to get laid,” Taemin coos at Sungwoon but really, Sungwoon knows he is just teasing him.

 

“You are one to talk,” Sungwoon snorts and Jongin sniggers from beside him.

 

Rolling his eyes, Taemin casually says, “Oh please, let us all not act like Jongin and I don’t give each other bro-jobs every other night. At least I got something going on for me.”

 

Sungwoon nearly chokes on the chicken he is eating because for a moment he completely forgot that Taemin and Jongin had that arrangement going on for almost two years already. They both had an understanding that it was nothing more and it was just to help each other out. Everyone understood that and never really found it weird. To add on, Taemin and Jongin are roommates so it was convenient.

 

Maybe in the beginning, the others had their doubts, afraid it would ruin their friendship’s dynamic. But then Taemin and Jongin assured them all that it won’t and true their words, it didn’t. In fact, at one point, Taemin and Jongin did try dating each other but they felt they were better off as best friends. Now, all of that is just a distant memory which brought on laughter when it is brought up.

 

Sungwoon’s face crumples in disgust, “Whatever.” Not that Sungwoon finds any issue with it, but he really doesn’t want to hear about his best friends giving each other blowjobs or whatever it is they do in their bedroom.

 

“Anyway,” Jongin begins, seemingly eager to change the subject, “Who is this mysterious guy who managed to distract you?”

 

“Kang Daniel,” Sungwoon replies, not bothering to beat around the bush.

 

Sungwoon continues to eat, waiting for his best friends to say something but when no words have been spoken, he looks up. All he sees is two males gaping at him. He raises a brow at them questioningly. “What?”

 

“Kang Daniel, as in that new kid everyone has been talking about ever since the new semester started?” Taemin asks, placing his chin on his hand, having place his chopsticks on the table. Sungwoon guesses he is done eating.

 

“He is a new student?” Sungwoon asks, a little surprised because from the way Daniel approached and talked to him with such confidence, one would think he has been around for a while.

 

“I am pretty sure there is only one Kang Daniel, so yeah, he is a new student,” Jongin says around the chicken he is eating. “But we can confirm with Jimin later. I think he’d know better.”

 

Speaking of Jimin – “Where’s Jimin?”

 

“He’s with Jungkook, obviously,” Taemin replies, giving him the ‘as if you don’t know that’ face.

 

Sungwoon was right then. He scratches the tip of his nose with his finger lightly and Sungwoon is not sure why he asks his next question but somehow, he just needed to know the answer. He tries and subtly ask, “Do you know when he is coming back?”

 

He usually doesn’t really care about such things. But as much as Sungwoon hates to admit it, he wants to know when Jimin will be back so that he can ask him about Daniel. Hence, he is not surprised when Jongin asks back, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Why? So that you can ask him about Kang Daniel?”

 

Sungwoon hates that his best friends know him so well.

 

Feeling a blush threatening to stain his cheeks, Sungwoon avoids eye-contact and lick his bottom lip, “Of course not. That’s dumb.”

 

“Woon, you can deny it all you want, but we see right through you,” Taemin says, accompanied by a ‘mmhmm’ from Jongin.

 

“Geez fine, I just want to know who this annoying guy is. That’s all,” Sungwoon admits, but maybe the part about Daniel being annoying is not true.

 

“Annoying he says,” Jongin mumbles under his breath and chuckles when Sungwoon throws a napkin at him. “Just say you like him and go.”

 

Sungwoon freezes momentarily at that before he says, “You know I don’t do crushes.”

 

He doesn’t bother looking up when Taemin sighs. He hears the sound of chopsticks being placed on the table before Jongin says softly, “Woon, it’s been years…”

 

“And?” Sungwoon snaps. The room suddenly feels so stuffy and Sungwoon just wants to _leave_ because he hates this. Hates that he is getting angry at his best friends when he knows they are just looking out for him.

 

Jongin clears his throat and continues smoothly, clearly trying not to let Sungwoon snapping at him affect him, “I’m just saying that you can’t let it affect you forever. You deserve happiness too.”

 

Feeling a lump start to form in his throat, he decides that maybe he should go to his room now before anything else happens. He hurriedly gets up from his chair and mumbles a, “Thank you for dinner.”

 

“Woon,” Taemin calls out from behind him quietly and Sungwoon stops for a bit to listen. His best friends are still his best friends for a reason, no matter how much he wishes they would just stop meddling in his business, sometimes. Like now, for instance. “Your mum called again.”

 

Sungwoon can’t help it when his hands clenches upon hearing that. He swallows heavily and shakes his head before heading straight to his room. Once in his room, he lets out a shaky breath and Sungwoon only realizes then that he has been holding his breath.

 

He spots his phone on his side table and contemplates his decision. Finally, he decides to give it a go. Gulping, he grabs his phone and dials her number. Sungwoon honestly feels like he could just puke his guts out right at the moment but before that can happen, the line connects.

 

“Hello,” a soft feminine voice answer.

 

Sungwoon opens his mouth but nothing comes out. Even just hearing her voice hurts too much. How is he going to even talk to her? Every single time he tries, it always ends up as a failure because no matter what, Sungwoon remembers clearly that very day when his world came crashing down.

 

The female voice from the other line says something again. “Sungwoon-ah?”

 

Sungwoon can’t do it. Not now, not yet. Maybe not ever because Sungwoon is not sure when he is ever going to be ready. So, Sungwoon does what he usually does whenever this happens. He ends the call.

 

 

 

After avoiding his best friends and taking a long shower, Sungwoon feels much more refresh. He doesn’t feel as bad as he does earlier and even contemplate approaching Jongin to apologize for snapping at him. But decides to do that early tomorrow morning instead.

 

As he prepares for bed, he hears the beep sound of his phone indicating that he has received a text message. The notification on his phone shows ‘One Text Message from Kang Daniel’ and Sungwoon’s heart actually skips a beat at that. His fingers shake a little as he opens up the chat.

 

**From Kang Daniel**

 

_Hyung! It’s me, Kang Daniel~_

_You remember me_

_Right?_

 

 

**To Kang Daniel**

 

_Of course I do_

_You’re the guy who distracted me from completing my essay_

 

**From Kang Daniel**

 

_Hyung_

_I distract you?_

_＠＾▽＾＠_

Sungwoon’s heart races upon seeing Daniel’s response. Once again, Daniel is doing that thing where he just says something smoothly, not even thinking how it will affect Sungwoon.

 

 

**_To Kang Daniel_ **

 

…

 

**From Kang Daniel**

 

_Hehehehe_

 

**To Kang Daniel**

 

_What do you want, Niel?_

 

**From Kang Daniel**

 

_Omg hyung!_

_You keep giving me a heart attack_

 

_(´๑•_•๑)_

 

**To Kang Daniel**

 

_???_

_What is it now??_

 

**From Kang Daniel**

 

_You called me Niel…_

 

_(´๑•_•๑)_

**To Kang Daniel**

_But weren’t you the one who asked me to call you that?_

 

**From Kang Daniel**

 

_Yeah, but I never expect you to call me that_

_＠＾▽＾＠_

 

**To Kang Daniel**

 

_You’re acting like I’m the only one who calls you that_

 

**From Kang Daniel**

 

_But you are the only one who calls me that_

That confuses Sungwoon a little because Sungwoon is certain when Daniel introduced himself earlier that day, it sure sounded like ‘Niel’ is a nickname he goes by and everyone calls him that.

 

 

**To Kang Daniel**

 

_What…?_

 

**From Kang Daniel**

 

_Hehe_

_Anyway hyung! You have lecture at 8am tomorrow right? At Wing B?_

Sungwoon rolls his eyes when he notices the way Daniel avoids his question. He decides that he will let it go this time.

 

 

**To Kang Daniel**

 

_Yeah, why?_

 

**From Kang Daniel**

 

_Nothing~_

_It’s getting late, hyung. Goodnight and sleep well!_

 

_｡^‿^｡_

 

 

Sungwoon sighs when he sees that Daniel is not online anymore. Clearly the conversation has ended. Not bothering to reply, he places his phone back on the side table. Sungwoon is just so tired and today has been a really long day. So, it is no surprise that as soon as his head hit the pillow, he knocks out.

                                                                                          

 

 

 

 

 ***

 

 

 

The cold morning breeze has Sungwoon wrap his jacket even tighter around himself as he walks through the campus. Even though he knows that he is slightly early, all Sungwoon wants to do is to quickly get to the lecture hall because he could really use some warmth right now.

 

As he approaches the lecture hall, he wishes he had bought coffee because he thinks he desperately needs it this morning. Sleep is hard to come by lately and he thinks yesterday, was the worse by far. He looks at the time on his phone and contemplates going to the café nearby just to get a quick coffee. Before he can even decide on that though, someone calls out his name.

 

“Sungwoon hyung!”

 

The familiar voice has Sungwoon look up from his phone so fast, he is surprise he doesn’t get whiplash. Walking towards him is Kang Daniel in all his glory and Sungwoon actually has half a mind to walk away. But then he sees the bright smile on Daniel’s face and it sends a warm tingle in his chest. Sungwoon thinks that there should be a rule out there which states that no one should be allowed to smile before nine in the morning.

 

“Hey, hyung,” Daniel breathes out once he stands in front of Sungwoon.

 

With a tiny smile on his face, Sungwoon gives Daniel an awkward wave, “Morning.”

 

Daniel bursts out laughing at that and Sungwoon glares at him because one, he doesn’t think he has done anything funny and two, it is honestly too early for all this.

 

“Hey, now,” Daniel says, bringing his two hands up. “I laughed because you were too cute.”

 

Completely ignoring what Daniel said and the way it made Sungwoon’s heart shake, Sungwoon notices then that Daniel has two cups of coffee in each hand which leads to him giving Daniel a questioning look.

 

“For you,” Daniel says, almost shyly – _and is that a blush on his face?_ – as he gives Sungwoon one of the cups of coffee.

 

Staring at the cup of coffee that is currently in his hand, Sungwoon doesn’t really know how to react. He is actually very touched by the gesture, albeit simple, that he kind of wants to cry a little. It makes him feel pathetic because _what the fuck, it’s just a cup of coffee_. But it is the first time, in a really long time, someone (sans his best friends) has ever given him something.

 

He sees the worried look that is slowly taking over Daniel’s face when Sungwoon doesn’t respond so he quickly pushes his thoughts away. Taking in a deep breath – _get a grip, Ha Sungwoon_ – he clears his throat and graciously says a, “thank you.”

 

At that, Daniel’s face lights up again and Sungwoon thanks the heaven that it is so easy to make Kang Daniel smile.

 

“Don’t you have class this morning?” Sungwoon asks after taking a sip of his coffee.

 

There is a soft look on Daniel’s face and Sungwoon wants him to not do that because he doesn’t feel like he is worthy of being on the receiving end of it. Like, what did Sungwoon even do to deserve that precious look from Daniel.

 

“I do actually,” Daniel replies, his free hand brushing at the strands of hair on his nape.

 

Sungwoon tilts his head and says, “What time is your class again?”

 

“Nine,” Daniel says, sheepish smile on his face.

 

Sungwoon takes a quick glance at the time on his phone. It shows that it is fifteen minutes before nine.

 

“And your class is all the way on the other side of campus, but you still came all the way here?” Sungwoon doesn’t need to ask that Daniel if his cllass is on the other side of campus because the business building is there.

 

“Yeah,” Daniel mumbles, avoiding eye-contact with Sungwoon.

 

Sungwoon’s heart, no matter how hard it is from all the walls surrounding it throughout the years, actually softens at that. And dare Sungwoon say it, but he actually has the strong urge to give Daniel a soft kiss on his cheek. Just to return the sweet gesture because Sungwoon thinks, someone like Daniel deserves everything good in this world.

 

Instead, he tentatively reaches out a hand towards Daniel’s arm, giving it a small squeeze before quickly placing his hand back to his side. “Daniel, really, thank you again for this.”

 

With a small smile on his face, Daniel asks, “Are you happy, hyung? Did I manage to make you happy this morning?”

 

Again, for the second time this morning, Sungwoon is stumped by Daniel. He doesn’t quite understand why Daniel is asking him the question but when he thinks about it, he does feel infinitely better now. Maybe it is the way Daniel’s smile just lights up everything and anyone around him or that Sungwoon is able to feel the sincerity in Daniel’s simple gesture.

 

So, without needing to put in any effort at all, Sungwoon actually puts on a genuine smile on his face and says, “Yes, you did.”

 

There is an unreadable look on Daniel’s face, but it quickly disappears, the soft look from before replacing it.

 

“I’m glad,” Daniel says, not breaking eye-contact.

 

Feeling a little uncomfortable with the way Daniel’s looking at him, like he is trying to dissect him and dig deeper into him, Sungwoon thinks that it is time they part ways. Pointing to the lecture hall, Sungwoon explains, “I think I should head in now. Thank you again for the coffee and I guess, sorry if you’re late for class.”

 

Daniel chuckles and shakes his head, “It’s fine. My mentor loves me.”

 

Sungwoon snorts at that but at the same time, it doesn’t really surprise him. “Of course.”

 

He is about to walk when Daniel asks, a tinge of nervousness is his voice, “Can I see you again after class?”

 

“You want to see me again?” Sungwoon asks, confused and surprised. “Don’t you have friends to hang out with?”

 

And Sungwoon wishes he can take back what he said because the slight look of hurt that appears on Daniel’s face has guilt seeping through Sungwoon’s veins. Maybe that’s why he quickly says, “But of course, if you want to see me after class and maybe hang out for a bit, I am free till three in the afternoon.”

 

“Really?” As expected, it is so easy for Daniel to perk up.

 

“Yes,” Sungwoon nods his head.

 

“Okay!” Daniel excitedly says. “I will see you soon, hyung!”

 

Just like that, Sungwoon is watching Daniel walk away and sighing, thinking about later. “What have you gotten yourself into, Ha Sungwoon?”

 

 

 

 

When Sungwoon walks out of the lecture hall, the first person he sees is Daniel. Daniel hasn’t noticed him yet and Sungwoon takes the opportunity to observe him. In his pale brown sweater and fitted jeans, Daniel isn’t even doing anything, except occasionally checking his phone, but Sungwoon sees the way other students pass by and take second glances at him. Once again, it makes him wonder if Daniel even knows the effect he has on people.

 

Daniel looks up then and a smile begins to spread across his face. Sungwoon wishes his heart would stop doing that thing where it feels like it might come out of his chest just by seeing Daniel’s smile. He hates that he is feeling that way because he is not supposed to be feeling that way.

 

He barely even know the guy. It doesn’t make sense to feel any sort of feelings for him, at all.

 

“Hyung,” Daniel says lightly when Sungwoon stands in front of him.

 

“Did you wait long?” Sungwoon asks, playing with the sleeves of his jacket.

 

“For you Sungwoon hyung, nothing is ever too long. I will wait for as long as you are ready,” Daniel says playfully but Sungwoon feels as though there was an underlying meaning to it.

 

Clearing his throat, Daniel then continues to ask, “Do you want to grab a bite? I’m kind of starving.”

 

Right on cue, Sungwoon’s stomach lets out a growl and Daniel let out the loveliest laugh Sungwoon ever heard. Sungwoon can feel the blood flowing to his cheeks, staining them pink.

 

“Oh, hyung, you’re really the most adorable,” Daniel sighs contently, and points a finger to Sungwoon’s ears. “Look, even your ears are red.”

 

“Please shut up,” Sungwoon grumbles, feeling embarrassed as it is and also because he really needs Daniel to stop saying things like that.

 

“Hyung, don’t feel shy,” Daniel says gently, eyes soft. “Around me, you don’t have to ever feel shy.”

 

Daniel is looking at him again with that unreadable expression and Sungwoon is about ready to bolt from there because Sungwoon thinks he can’t handle it. He should really talk to Daniel about it so that he can stop making Sungwoon feel uncomfortable.

 

“Let’s go, shall we?” Daniel breaks Sungwoon’s chain of thoughts, his head tilting to the direction of the cafeteria.

 

Sungwoon nods his head lightly and follows Daniel, nervousness and maybe even excitement bubbling inside of him.

 

 

 

 

“Ah, the rooftop. How cliché,” Sungwoon says, laughing softly when he sees the slight pout on Daniel’s face.

 

After they bought their food, Daniel suggested eating somewhere peaceful and said that he had a secret spot he discovered during his first week at uni. Sungwoon thinks he could use some quiet and told Daniel to lead the way. When he sees that Daniel had brought him to the rooftop of one of the older buildings on campus, Sungwoon cannot help but chuckle lightly because that is very fitting of Daniel.

 

“Whatever,” Daniel mumbles. “We can go to your secret place next time, then.”

  
  
Sungwoon smiles in amusement and asks, “So there is going to be a next time?"

 

“I mean, only if you want to,” Daniel mutters under his breath, looking anywhere else except Sungwoon himself.

 

Sungwoon can’t help but laugh softly, still not believing that Kang Daniel can be such a big baby sometimes. He doesn't know if there is going to be a next time but a small part of him hopes for that. He proceeds to open his bento box and takes a bite onto his meal. No one speaks and Sungwoon revels in the peaceful silent. Somehow, he likes that the silence isn’t uncomfortable, at least not on Sungwoon’s end.

 

After a few minutes, Daniel breaks the silence, staring at Sungwoon eating. “Hyung, can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure,” Sungwoon says, biting on his tempura.

 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Daniel asks, and hastily adds, “Or girlfriend.”

 

Sungwoon stills and his heart gives a loud thump. “Uh,” he stutters momentarily, unsure why he finds it so hard to answer such a simple question. Maybe because it was Daniel who asked the question and Sungwoon once again, doesn’t know what it means. What is it about Daniel that makes Sungwoon feel this way.

 

“I don’t,” Sungwoon says, slowly placing his wooden chopsticks on top of his bento box, suddenly not feeling like eating.

 

“Oh,” Daniel says, a little too happily and Sungwoon feels the need to just –

 

“I don’t do relationships,” Sungwoon explains further. “Or crushes for that matter.”

 

“ _Oh_ ,” Daniel is saying the same thing he did before, but the tone is different now, more disappointed.

 

A tiny frown on Daniel’s face, he turns his body to fully face Sungwoon, having already finished eating too. “Can I know why?”

 

The way Daniel asks so softly, like he wants to understand why, understand Sungwoon, makes his chest ache a little. He wishes he could explain but he can’t. It was hard as it is explaining to his group of best friends two years ago, what more to Daniel who is basically still just a stranger to him.

 

“I just,” Sungwoon says, staring into the distance. “Don’t see the point for all that when it comes to people like me.”

 

Daniel’s brow raises at Sungwoon’s response and he just knows what is going to come next – “People like you?”

 

Sungwoon breathes out slowly and gives a short reply, “Yeah.”

 

“I don’t get it,” Daniel begins. “There’s no such thing as people like you or people like me. We are all the same. And I think everyone deserves happiness.”

 

“You think being in relationships or having crushes equate to happiness?” Sungwoon shoots back, and Daniel is stunned for a moment.

 

“No. Not like that at all,” Daniel smoothly says, shaking his head. “But, doesn’t it get lonely sometimes?”

 

Lonely?

 

Sungwoon has heard a lot about that for years. When you build walls around yourself, to safeguard your heart, you rarely or never let anyone in. So, yes Sungwoon definitely knows what lonely feels like. But it still does not change anything.

 

“Daniel, you don’t make sense,” Sungwoon says, exasperated, clenching his hands into fists. “Everything you’re saying is jumbled up. One moment you are talking about relationships and the next, you are-“

 

“I know, I know,” Daniel cuts him off, running his fingers through his hair roughly before continuing, “What I really want to say is that, I like you, Sungwoon hyung.”

 

 _No_ , Sungwoon thinks. This cannot be happening. It is impossible in fact. Because Daniel doesn’t know Sungwoon enough to like him. Sungwoon doesn’t even think that they can even be called friends. It doesn’t make sense. None of it.

 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sungwoon says, grounding his teeth.

 

“I think I’ve liked you since the first time I saw you,” Daniel chuckles softly, a small smile on his face. “There’s just something about you that draws me in.”

 

Sungwoon thinks he is about to puke his lunch out right now from the way his stomach churns. He can just grab his bag and leave, but somehow his legs are frozen. His mind thinks one thing, but his body is reacting another way.

 

“Maybe it’s the sadness in your eyes that always linger no matter how you try to cover it up,” the unreadable look appears again on Daniel’s face and Sungwoon swallows the lump that forms in his throat. “And all I want to do is to make you happy, bring happiness into your life.”

 

_Are you happy, hyung? Did I manage to make you happy this morning?_

 

Sungwoon says before he can stop himself, “I’m not some charity case.”

 

“Hyung,” Daniel sighs, almost looking tired. “You know that’s not what I meant at all.”

 

Sungwoon knows, _he knows_ , but he just wants to find something – _anything_ – that can make him dislike Daniel or hate him even. However, Sungwoon is struggling to do so because Daniel is just too kind.

 

“You can’t like me, Daniel,” Sungwoon too is tired. It has been emotionally rollercoaster for him and it has only been two days since he got to know Daniel.

 

“Tell me one good reason, hyung,” Daniel says firmly, brown orbs staring straight into Sungwoon’s. The fire in his eyes makes Sungwoon nervous and his stomach churns again. “Then maybe I will stop.”

 

Sungwoon doesn’t know what else to say, so he just closes his eyes, the wind blowing onto his face, and wishes for time to rewind – _but does Sungwoon actually want that?_

 

“You just can’t.”

 

When he opens his eyes, Daniel looks at him with a sad smile, “Then that’s not a good enough reason for me.”

 

And just like that, they end the conversation.

                                                                                        

 

 

 

 ***

 

 

 

The next morning when Daniel appears in front of Sungwoon’s lecture hall again with a cup of coffee for him, acting as per normal – as though he didn’t just confess to Sungwoon the day before, Sungwoon is confused but at the same time, he doesn’t know if he feels relieved or disappointed.

 

Once again, Sungwoon is left confused by his own emotions.

 


End file.
